“Best & Worst Questions to Ask College Volleyball Coaches: How to Have More Meaningful, Real Recruiting Conversations” Presented by Sports Imports

By Tina Readling, Elon Women’s Volleyball Associate Head Coach

The top two worst recruiting phone calls I have ever had went something like this:

• The player talked about herself the ENTIRE time. She put down her teammates and coaches and told me how much more competitive she was than the rest of her team and how she carried the team all the time. (Unfortunately, for her, our staff had seen her play and had watched her video. Let’s just suffice it to say that our evaluations did not align with hers, although we did feel that she was a nice player with potential.) Although initially turned off by her demeanor, I was polite to her and tried to see if I could get her to share some positives about her team, but she maintained a superior, negative attitude regarding her team and coaches for the whole phone call. I truly believe that she was just trying so hard to sell herself to me that she didn’t seem to understand how badly she came across in the process. Unfortunately for this player, the call was so bad (still holds the gold medal for my “worst call” ever) that our staff did not even entertain a second call.
• The silver medalist – or my “second worst call ever” – went something like this, after we had a bit of initial chit-chat at the beginning of the call:
  • ME: So, what criteria are you using to help you narrow down your list of schools: location, size of school, volleyball program, academics…?
  • HER: I like schools on the beach and schools in Florida.
  • ME: That’s great! Do you know where our school is located?
  • HER: Yes.
  • ME: {confused} Ok, I wanted to make sure because our school is NOT on the beach, and our school is NOT in Florida. What other things are you looking at as you are narrowing down your list?
  • HER: I like schools that also have a beach program, so I have the option of doing either or both.
  • ME: That sounds like a great plan if you aren’t sure yet which direction you want to go. {confused still} You do know our school does NOT have a beach program, right?
  • HER: Yes.
  • ME: {almost laughing} Ok, just making sure. {then thinking, let’s try this…} So, we are known as a higher academic school. Are any of the other schools on your list high academic also?
  • HER: Not really.
  • ME: {struggling to believe this call is real} Well, it doesn’t sound like we are really the fit that you are looking for. Hopefully, you have some other schools on your list that are a better fit, though.
  • HER: Oh, yes! I am the most excited about University XYZ {she actually named it!}.
  • ME: {hearing Twilight Zone music ringing in my ears} You DO understand that you are talking to ABC University? And you are telling me that University XYZ is your top school? Does your club recruiting coordinator know that they are your top school? Does he know that you are talking to me today?
  • HER: Yes, he and I have talked about it.
  • ME: Well, that’s great that you have a school you are super excited about, and hopefully, they are just as excited about you. I appreciate your taking time to talk with me, but since it doesn’t really sound like we are a fit for you, I will let you go unless you have any questions for me.
  • HER: {Then proceeds to ask me the following questions from a list that she was clearly reading from in a tone that didn’t sound the least bit interested in any of the answers…} What does a day-in-the-life of one of your volleyball players look like? What is your coaching philosophy? What is your team culture like? What do you look for in my position? Do you have scholarship money available?

 Out of respect for the club recruiting coordinator and in knowing that we wanted to continue to recruit players from that club (in fact, we had an offer out to one of their players at the time), I honestly and truthfully answered each of this player’s questions, but it was quite challenging to do so with poise and patience.

To me, this player’s responses to my questions made me feel that either she had done zero research about us, was completely confused about which school she was talking with or was being forced to make this phone call. And all of those things may have actually been true. Her message to me said, “I’m not interested in your school, and it is not remotely the type of school I am looking for, but can I take up more of your time? You see, my club recruiting coordinator gave me this list of questions that I need to ask and tell him the answers to. Plus, I really want to brag to my teammates about how many phone calls I had and how long they were.”

I am sure that most recruits and club recruiting coordinators would read these conversations and be appalled. I too would never have imagined that conversations like these would happen, and yet…they did, and they do.

I was waiting to go into a funeral for my former classmate…

I feel that it is relevant for me to point out at this juncture that while I was talking on the phone with this second recruit (holder of the silver medal phone call) I was actually sitting in my car waiting to go into the funeral for my first high school classmate who had just passed away. He died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 43, leaving behind a wife and an 8-year-old daughter.

Why is it important to point THAT out? To reiterate the fact that coaches are humans. We have lives; we enjoy a good laugh; we get annoyed; we get tired; we know what a big win feels like; we understand what a tough practice feels like; we feel the pain of canceled matches and seasons; we understand what it feels like to lose someone you love; we understand what it feels like to be uncertain of the future. WE. ARE. HUMAN. TOO.

And because we are human, almost all of us college coaches started our June 15th recruiting phone calls with questions about how your LIFE was going; how was school going; how your family was doing; did everyone in the household still have their jobs; were your teachers being understanding; had COVID affected your family yet…

And because we are human, and because we need connections and relationships just like everyone else during these crazy times, and on top of that, because the future success of our programs depends upon recruiting the “right” student-athletes to our schools…because of all of these things and more…WE WANT TO HAVE MEANINGFUL, REAL CONVERSATIONS WITH RECRUITS.

But “meaningful” and “real” conversations don’t just happen for most coaches and most recruits.

Sure, there is a small handful of coaches who have the personality to connect easily with every recruit they talk with, and there are even fewer recruits who can get past the nervousness and uncertainty of an initial phone call enough to let their true selves shine through right away. However, for most coaches and most recruits, “real” and “meaningful” conversation is the result of some combination of research, preparation, and practice.

Part of that preparation process begins as you look at what questions you choose to ask college coaches in your first email, on your first phone call, and on follow-up calls and visits. To help recruits and club recruiting coordinators freshen up their lists of questions, I reached out to several college coaching friends at all levels of the game asking them to share questions that they do NOT like to get from recruits and to share questions that they wish recruits would ask them…AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SAID.

We know that most recruits are going through this recruiting process for the first time…

So, we understand that you may say the “wrong” thing or get tripped up over a question or not know exactly what to say on a phone call, and that is ok. Some college coaches still get nervous about trying to carry on a 15-minute conversation with a recruit. With that in mind, this is how several college coaches feel about those first phone calls with recruits:

• There are no bad questions. I try to keep in mind that most recruits are going through this process for the first time so to expect them to know anything about playing in college or about the recruiting process is a stretch for me. Any question you have about the recruiting process or about my school or program is fair game. I want you to feel that we have an open relationship, so you feel that way when you arrive on my campus too.
• I don’t really think there are many bad questions throughout the recruiting process. This is your first time really doing this, so any form of communication I think is beneficial. 

What do college coaches NOT like to hear on the first phone call?

• What is the tailgating like for football games? Seriously. That was a real recruit question. Remember your first questions can tell the coach a great deal about you and about your priorities, so have a plan for what questions you will ask so you don’t pop out a question like this that could give the coach the wrong impression about your level of commitment to playing collegiate volleyball.
• Questions with answers you could have easily looked up on a website or on social media:
  • What division are you?
  • What does your campus look like?
  • How is your team doing lately?
  • Do you have {blank} major?
  • How big is your roster?
  • How many players are on the team at my position?
  • What teams are in your conference?
  • What days of the week do you typically play on?
  • Where do you travel to play?
  • How long have you been coaching at this school? Where have you coached before? Did you play in college?
• What is a “day-in-the-life” look like for your players? This question seems to be at or near the top of almost every club recruiting coordinator’s list that they give their club players to ask college coaches. The answer is pretty similar from program to program – class, treatment, practice, lift, study, study hall, academic meetings, team video scouting sessions, eat, sleep, repeat – but in a different order and in different proportions from school to school. Maybe a recruit can get away with asking this on the first couple of phone calls (although, there are still much better questions to ask), but after the first couple of times asking this, recruits should have a good enough idea of what a college student-athlete’s experience looks like so they shouldn’t ask this of every single program. Note that some more academic schools have a different schedule every semester based on classes, so it is very difficult for those programs to give a generic answer that is true all the time for their program. Ultimately, this question comes across to college coaches as a generic, mindless question that could be substituted with a better, more specific and more engaging question that the recruit could have come up with by doing just a little research. Better alternative ways to ask this question include:
  • Does your team have an academic coordinator, tutors, or someone to help them academically? What is the team’s relationship with these individuals like?
  • Does your team have required study hall hours each week? How many? Are those hours the same for every grade level?
  • Do your players have to study a lot on the road? Are there tutors who travel with them?
  • How much video does your team watch to scout opponents and to improve their own play?
  • How often does the team lift or condition?
  • How much class does the team miss for travel/matches? Does your team bus or fly to matches?
• When a coach asks what you believe your best skill is, don’t say, “I’m not great at anything.” Never undersell yourself. Highlight your best qualities and be honest about what areas you are working to improve. The reverse of this would be like you asking a college coach what their team is good at, and the college coach replying, “We are not great at anything.” Conversation over – who would want to play for that team? Likewise, you should know your strengths and be able to articulate them to a college coach; that shows maturity and self-awareness. Both are important qualities in college student-athletes.
• Which players on the team are on scholarship? Which players on the team are walk-ons? This question is just not appropriate. You can discuss YOUR OWN financial aid/scholarship opportunities at some point during the relationship building process with the staff, but NEVER ask about other specific players and their scholarship status on the team. If the coach volunteers that information, you can listen, but do not ask about it.
• Do you see me starting or getting playing time on day one in your gym? How much do you think I will play? No matter how good you are at your current level, you have not proven a thing at your next level yet – so while coaches can make predictions, hard and fast promises are difficult to make and even more difficult to keep. Even for players transferring from one college program to the next, or one collegiate level to another, it can be difficult to gauge completely and accurately the level of success you will have, especially right away.

DO NOT ASK THESE QUESTIONS ON YOUR FIRST CALL…but you can ask them later, once you and the staff have gotten to know each other better:

• What are your dorms like? What are your facilities like? Save these questions for later. These are great questions you can ask a couple of calls in to help you show the coach that you are ready for and interested in having a Zoom call or a visit.
• After seeing me play, what do you think I need to work on? In my opinion, for juniors in high school and below, that is your club coach’s job, and you need to listen to what they want you to work on. We trust them. In reality, five different college coaches with different teaching techniques could tell you that you need to be working on five different things – and none of those things could be what your club coach actually needs you to focus on right now. However, for seniors who are committed to play for us, most often their club coaches reach out to us to ask what we want to see them working on, so they are ready to come in and make our team better. Actually, the better way to ask that is: what else do you need to see in my play to be willing to consider me for a position on your team?
• What do you look for in a player for your team? This is again a very generic question that many coaches will, in turn, give you a pretty generic answer for. Almost all of us coaches are going to say that we are looking for good athletes, good competitors, and good people. Most coaches are looking for the same attributes as every other coach – a combination of physicality and intelligence that will allow you to produce for my team. I can talk about character and such, but you can be the best person ever and still not make my team. Actually, the better way to ask that is: what type of individuals (as players and as students) have the most success in your program and at your school?
• Where do I fit into your recruiting process? What do you see my role on the team being? On the first call, we are just getting to know you, we don’t truly have any idea where you fit into our process quite yet. You could be a phenomenal, program-changing athlete who can’t get in academically or who has a horrible attitude that would be a detriment to our team culture, or you could be a solid role player who could contribute to the team’s competitiveness, improve the academic atmosphere of the team, and be a top alumna for life. The fact is that we just don’t know all of that on the first phone call, and while we can tell you things we like about your play or your on-court personality, we can’t truly tell you fully how we see you fitting in until we get to know you better and see that you are indeed a fit.
• Are your players able to be involved in other organizations, activities, or leadership opportunities around campus? This is a risky question to ask right off the bat on a first call. First of all, it leads the coach to wonder if you may not have volleyball prioritized as high as the coach would like it to be. Secondly, if the school is indeed a school that allows student-athletes to be involved in more than just academics and athletics, then the coach may not feel comfortable being as open about that on the first call for fear that you may judge the program and the current student-athletes as being less committed than you think they should be. It is a lose-lose to ask this question until you and the staff know each other better.
• How is your athletic department handling fifth-year COVID waivers? Will you be bringing any of your players back for a fifth season? How are you deciding who comes back and who doesn’t? How will those decisions affect your recruiting for my class and my position? This is a tough question for college coaches to answer right now because we don’t have all the information we need to be able to answer the question fully for you, however, this is a conversation that needs to be had prior to narrowing down your list of schools. The trust you have in the coach’s answer and the faith you put on their word must be based upon the strength and honesty of the relationship that you have built with the staff up to that point.

Questions that college coaches had MIXED OPINIONS about:

• Do you have a scholarship available for my position? Some college coaches do not like to talk about money until way later in the recruiting relationship. However, some college coaches will be very upfront about what scholarships they have available for what position each year. Personally, I feel that discussing the overall cost of the school, the general academic/merit and financial aid available, and the availability of athletic scholarship money by position is a first-call topic. If my school is too expensive for you to walk-on, and we don’t have a scholarship for your position in your year, then we need to move off of each other’s lists or at least move to a much lower priority spot on those lists until something changes for either of us. Ultimately, if a coach is being vague and pushing off conversations regarding what financial assistance they can offer you through athletics or through academics or financial aid, then you need to keep your options open, and you may reach a point that you have to nail them down on what they can actually offer you once you are narrowing down your choices.
• What is the culture like? Many coaches don’t like this question because it is extremely generic and can be answered a lot of different ways. Mostly, though, it is also a question that the coaching staff can answer as honestly as they possibly can and still be completely wrong. The staff can work to create a culture for the team, but the team itself actually embodies and lives out that culture. You really only can see and feel the culture of the team by watching practices and matches, by spending time with the team, by talking with other people at the school who are around the program, etc. It is unfortunate that these in-person opportunities are now limited due to the social circumstances our culture is currently in. (See below for better, more specific ways to phrase this question without asking about the “culture” in general.)
• How long do you practice? What are your practices like? Some coaches do not like these basic questions because they have such varying answers – there usually isn’t one set practice time or one type of practice, but with recruits unable to sit in and watch our practices, these are questions that are going to be asked.
• Do walk-ons get the same treatment/opportunities as scholarship players? Many coaches also do not like this question for various reasons. The truth is that at most schools (especially D1) there can be some distinct differences in a scholarship experience or a walk-on experience, but every program is different. Some programs work very hard to minimize the difference as much as possible. Some programs are very open about who is on scholarship and who is a walk-on. Because the answer to this question varies so much and because it does matter so much to recruits, it is a question that will be asked whether college coaches like it or not. Recruits, if it is something that matters to you, then you should ask.
• Is there a chance, even if I walk-on at first, that I could earn scholarship money later? Countless programs advertise this opportunity to recruits. However, I find that far too few club recruiting coordinators and way fewer recruits understand how this opportunity actually works and how quickly this opportunity disappears. If this question is something that your family and/or club advisor wants you to ask a college coach, you need to make sure that you ask it and get all the information they are willing to give you. You can even have your club coach talk with the college coach to make sure that the information is clear. Ultimately, you should know that until you sign for a scholarship, there is nothing binding a coach to a promise of money besides that coach’s word.
  • For most D1, if you did not receive an athletic scholarship coming into your first year of college volleyball, before you even begin your first college practice, the staff has already promised out athletic scholarships to the class coming in as freshmen behind you and is at least in the beginning process of promising out athletic scholarships for the class that would be coming in your junior season. That means that even before the end of your first season, the money that you had hoped to earn for your sophomore year or junior year, may already be promised to recruits younger than you. The same thing goes for your sophomore season. If you didn’t earn a scholarship in your freshman season, then when you start your sophomore season, the staff is most likely already finishing up scholarship offers to players who would come in your junior year and in the process of offering players who would be coming in on scholarship for your senior year. The only other way that money will come available for you is if a staff chooses to hold out a scholarship every couple of years or so to award to a deserving current team member, or money can come available if a scholarship player chooses to leave or vacate their scholarship agreement.
  • For most D2 and other levels, full athletic scholarships are tougher to come by and can be non-existent at some levels. At these levels, athletic aid (if available) can often be paired with academic aid to create really nice financial packages – often even better than the D1 financial opportunities.

Questions that college coaches WISH PLAYERS WOULD ASK US MORE:

• What do you like most about working/coaching at your school?
• What is your favorite spot on campus?
• After your players graduate from your school, what are some of the jobs/careers they move into? I love this question because it shows that you are thinking about more than just the next four years of your life.
• What type of individuals (as players and as students) have the most success in your program and at your school?
• What is the first thing you notice when watching a potential recruit?
• In your mind, what sets one recruit apart from another recruit?
• What is your staff’s coaching/leadership style? How is each member of the staff different from one another? How do you think the team would describe each staff member?
• What does your accountability system look like – captains or leadership council? How much do you delegate accountability between the team/coaches?
• How does the staff divide position/training responsibilities? Which coaches would be working with me on what skills/parts of my game?
• How can your program make me better? How do you plan to make me better as a player?
• How do you as a coach deal with losses or when the team under performs? How does the team handle it? I think that question is really telling on the coach’s philosophy and also shows the reality that we don’t win everything, that it’s not rainbows and sunshine all the time, and that how we as a team and how I as a coach handle adversity is really important to our overall culture.
• Where do you see the program going this season? Where do you see the program being when I become a part of it? Where do you see the program being in my senior year?
• Is a conference championship, post-season national tournament play, or national championship a possibility? If so, what is the staff and team doing moving forward to work toward that goal or toward repeating that goal?
• What are the non-negotiables of your program – things that are a must-have in order for a player to be a part of your team and to fit into your team culture?
• What do you feel is unique to your school’s student-athlete experience? What do you feel is unique about being a student-athlete on your team specifically? I really like when you ask about what your experience will look like, what the team chemistry is like, and what our practices are like. To me, it shows that you are really thinking through all of what it will involve for you to be a part of college athletics.
• What is your team’s identity? When you’re getting ready to play an opponent, how do you think your opponent’s players describe your players and your team’s style of play?

Having a list of questions is a great way to be prepared for every phone call, but the best way to ensure a meaningful, real, and memorable experience for the recruit and the college coach is…
…if the recruit and the college coach will both ACTIVELY LISTEN to one another instead of looking ahead to the next question on the list. College coaches know that recruits are nervous on their first calls so we understand that we may need to lead and direct the conversation, but if recruits AND college coaches will simply try to talk with one another on a more real and personal level, then the recruit and the college coach can engage in more purposeful, meaningful, and real conversation before either of them even have an opportunity to ask their list of questions.

Flashback to when I was sitting there in the parking lot talking to my silver-medalist recruit, as I was preparing to go into the funeral…

Had that recruit asked me a simple question – such as, what other things I had going on that day, or did I have a busy week – I would have honestly shared with her what was going on in my day. Such a simple, everyday type of question could have opened up an opportunity for us to have a deeper, more honest conversation and a chance to get to know one another and to share more than just the normal recruiting information/Q&A exchange.

While these questions that we college coaches have shared with you can serve as a great starting point or just as checkpoints throughout your recruiting conversations, I have to be honest with you that my own personal favorite and most memorable recruiting conversations absolutely NEVER have to do with volleyball and NEVER evolve from checking off a list of questions. Through just having normal conversation and sometimes asking the obvious, easy questions like, “What do you have planned for this weekend?” or “What do you do when you aren’t in school or playing volleyball?” or “Where is the last place that you traveled to?” – that’s when I end up talking to a recruit for half the phone call about favorite musicals or about our shared love of editing papers or about where their family went camping last weekend or about their family’s reenactment of the “Friends” intro or about raising chickens…yes, talking about raising chickens was a real 30-minute part of a recruit conversation. One of my favorite conversations, in fact. Because that conversation led us into talking about her mom and what it was like for her to lose her mom to cancer several years ago. And while I already knew what an amazing PLAYER this recruit was, it was that conversation that showed me what a remarkable PERSON she was. The kind of person we would want to have in our program.

As recruits and coaches look for the “right” fit, with the end goal being to develop lasting, meaningful, and real recruiting RELATIONSHIPS, then we have to start with meaningful and real CONVERSATIONS. Let these questions help your conversations, but don’t let these questions define your conversations.

A huge “THANK YOU” to my many coaching friends who took the time to share their thoughts and ideas with me so that we could all share them with you.